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Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer
Twilight, hmmm how to start? Well, to begin, Twilight is the story of a so called "quiet" girl from Phoenix, Arizona named Bella. She moves to live with her dad, because her well loved mother wants to travel with her husband Phil. And so the series begins. As she begins to get used to the small, constantly rainy town called Forks, (Washington) things finally seem normal. But SURPRISE! Something changes. Because it happens to be in the middle of the school year, well you guessed it, she goes to school. So like most
people her age, she goes to Forks High, and there unlike most people her age, she falls in love with the amazingly gorgeous, Edward Cullen. Now of course something has to be wrong with the guy in order to have a somewhat good story, so in other words saying..... GUESS WHAT? Well i know you know anyway but I'll tell you, HE' A VAMPIRE! The only issue with this relationship is that he wants to suck her blood, and for some reason, her blood is so much more appetizing than everyone elses. So the further the book progresses, the more they learn about one another, and the more in love they fall. Oh and I forgot something, he sparkles in the sunlight instead of turning to dust... darn. So the future looks pretty bright for them, but unfortunately, most stories have some sort of bad guy. Well, as Bella mindlessly watches the Cullen Baseball Battle, the "Bad Vamps," or as they would prefer, James, Victoria and Laurent, intrude on their small gathering. All seems to go well until a breezes blows over and James, the tracker, smells Bella's blood, (I know, stalker) and even though he pretends not to care, he decides to track Bella no matter the cost. The Cullens being the brilliant vampires that they are, already expected it, so they decide to attempt to "trick the tracker" and try to hide Bella back in her home town. Edward and bella unfortunately have to split in order for her to live because anyone with a brain would expect him to go with her. So she is escorted to her home town, Phoenix, by Alice, Edward's vampire sister, and Jasper, Edward's vampire brother, as the try to stay on the down low. Well, James being the smart person that he is, tricks Bella into believing he has her mother captive. Well it worked and of course Bella trying to be the hero goes to save her Mom. So once the whole "I don't have your mother" thing is clarified, James, making his killing as long as possible, is making sure Bella is in as much pain as possible. So being thrown against a wall and being stepped on, she broke her head and her leg, and all the while Edward is trying to get there. So after what seemed like forever, Edward Intervenes and he and James go into a head to head fight. And all over poor little Bella Swan.... Well as always, the hero wins, but to add a twist, James actually did succeed in his goal. Before his death, he succeeded in biting Bella, so in order for her NOT to turn into a vampire, Edward has to suck her blood in order to get the venom out. Well being a Vampire, and saying that her blood is extremely tasty, he finds it difficult to stop and he almost kills her. Well, all in all, that's Twilight in a package for you.
New Moon Summary
Well being that I've already explained the first book, which contains most of the background information, this review will be a whole lot shorter... YAY! Well anyway, in this book, Edward, the Immortal 109 year old vampire decides that he is too dangerous for Bella to be around, so he leaves her. Literally, as in he leaves the country. Not only does he leave her, he erases all traces of his existence. For example: he hides all gifts he's ever given her, and she can never find his house again, and none of his siblings go to the high school anymore. Aw poor Bella. Well, at least she has one more freaky friend, Jacob! In the book they call him a werewolf, but he is really only a shape-shifter. Either way so while Bella is trying to cope with Edward being gone, Jacob fills his place as they loving boy friend/ best friend. Bella, missing Edward immensely, is up to whatever it takes to Edward back. She begins to do crazy things once she discovers that if she does something dangerous, she can hear Edward's voice in her head. For exsample: she crashes her motercycle.So when nothing else works, she decides to go "cliff diving" or as i call it, "the suicide jump" Bella jumps off a cliff and well of course, she very faintly hears Edward's voice in her head, but unfortunately, she nearly drowned, and if Alice, Edward's sister, hadn't saved her she would have died. But it the story over yet? Nope..... darn.... Mean while Edward is also in a way attempting to commit his own "suicide jump." He is going to provoke the Volturi, (A bunch of vampires who try to keep things in line. they are very strict, and they are huge on keeping vampirism a secret) by standing in the sunlight in London to show all the people that his skin is sparkly. Doing that, the Volturi would want to kill him because he poses a threat. Well as always the good guys win and Edward and Bella are reunited and all is well, Huzzah.
Eclipse Summary
Okay, I am going to be upfront this time. Eclipse is basically the same thing. All goes well, enemy comes, (victoria) Edward has to protect Bella, There is a so called war that lasts like a page and a half, Victoria dies, and all is well.... Yay...
Breaking Dawn Summary
Ok so in this one I am going to go into more depth, just because that it's one of the only books with an actual plot, not saying it is at all a good one just saying that yes, it does exist. Breaking Dawn is complicated and I do not need to explain it all so please forgive me if I leave out details. So Edward and Bella get married go off on their freakish honey moon where surprise! surprise! They have a freakish mutant child named Renesmee who turns out be aging really fast, and she has a heart, but she's still vampire. So apparently that's like illegal and impossible to have a child with a vampire, so someone goes and tells the Volturi, and here we go again. So this whole thing is over a little half-human child. Well they decide to gather a small army of their own with their cool Vamp friends to fight the vampire government. So finally the climax arrives and IT TURNS OUT TO BE A FRICKING TEA PARTY!!! No fights, no excitement, no nothing! I'm not saying that I have to have fighting in all my books, but in these, it's what makes the climax! well, everything turn out fine and dandy, happily every after and Bella and Edward are now living in a log cabin that Bella got for her B-day.... go figure...
So now comes the ACTUAL review! HUZZAH!
Okay so most of the Twilight characters are like Mary Sue kind of people. They all seem so perfect, yet somehow, they drive me crazy. The whole mary sue thingy is why. In every relationship, there are arguments, and make ups, that's what a relationships are. Well this one seems to be SERIOUSLY lacking. Would you like to see why?
Characters
Edward
In my opinion, Edward is a shallow moron who thinks he knows everything just because he happens to be immortal and is 109 years old. Not only that, but so many people are obsessed with him, PEOPLE: HE IS FICTIONAL! Not only that, but he is always so "I can't be with you Bella, I'm too dangerous!" Oh just kiss her and get it over with!!!! He just screams idiot to me, but thats just my opinion...
Bella
Bella, in my opinion, is an attention craving, over dramatic, suicidal person who seems to think that the human race revolves around Edward. Not only that, but if he were to disappear, life would no longer be worth living. Yeah, sure okay...
Writing
Personally, I think the writing is horrible. It is all purple pro (look it up) and everyone always thinks that it's so brilliant because it feels like you were there, well, yes it's supposed to do that because the narrator is the main character! No matter what story you write, it will feel like you were there because that is how it's written! Some people say that they love it because it's so descriptive, but did you ever consider that it may be way too descriptive? So much that, in my opinion, it interrupts the story. The writing in general,(story, plot etc.) is amateur. A five year old could understand it. The story is not complex, nor is it complicated.
Plot
One of my main pet peeves with this book is that everyone loves it so much and obsesses over it's characters. They act like no one has ever done this before! Of course it has! Not only that the plot is just so....stupid. If you think about it, you will realize that what i say is true. Bella is risking her life just to see a mood-swinging vampire's voice! I mean really? COME ON! Plus, Stephanie Meyer fills up half of the half the book with "Oh Edward! I love you! You are so gorgeous!" It just drives me insane how S.M. can't think of anything else other than his good looks and his constantly bored attitude. Like I said, it is all a matter of opinion, and I choose to share mine with you so don't insult me, or yell at me for trying to make you realize the flaws in this book, just think about it, K?
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